Conservative Guide

The Conservatives Guide

Tired of Liberal Bashing ... then read this ...

A guide to help you understand conservatives - if that's possible.

A work in Progress Project - will be completed before the war in Iraq is over.

Arrogance - a primary characteristic of conservatives. They believe that they know it all and their view is the only correct view - and only view ... period. They refuse to take input from the people and do not accept input of any kind that disagrees with their position. If you disagree with a conservative you are punished, thrown in jail, considered unpatriotic or accused of treason.

Bipartisan - the conservative view of bipartisan is - we tell you what to do and you agree.

Civil Liberties - are for conservatives only. If you disagree with a conservative you have no civil liberties. You will be wire tapped and put on a domestic terrorist watch list for being unpatriotic.

Conservative - conceited, arrogant, unethical, clueless and incompetent people migrate to the conservative philosophy. It is the duty of conservatives to severely criticize Liberals and punish them if they do not agree with the conservative view point. They do not listen to the masses and are isolated from the majority of people. They support big business and forsake the masses. The religious right are controlling the conservatives with their religious terrorist philosophy. BTW - they think that they report directly to God. There seems to be very little difference between the religious right extremists and 'Al Qaeda' extremists - except for maybe the bombing and killing. You accept their view or else. Conservatives know what's best for us even though they have never gone out to get input from us. In short - they know it all and know what's best for all and do things their way or no way.

Constitution - conservatives would like to change the constitution to exclude liberals and anyone who disagrees with them. Civil liberties and freedom are only a part of conservative philosophy if you agree with them. Although they profess smaller federal government - in fact they are giving government (the president in particular) more and more power. They would prefer a presidential dictatorship.

Corruption - many conservatives are among the most corrupt people on the planet. They are particularly adept at taking bribes or expensive gifts for political favors.

Deceit - conservatives practice deceit and are quite adept at it. They maneuver information to make it seem more palatable without actually changing the intent of the information.

Democracy - a preferred form of government, popular with people who desire freedom and civil liberties. Conservatives would prefer to change this form of government to a Repubocracy - making it lean more towards conservative goals. Goals that would exclude seniors, the sick, gays, single mothers, the poor, liberals and those that do not agree with ultra conservative religion.

Ethics - ethics are not a part of the conservative philosophy. If the means justify their goals then it's OK regardless of whether it's ethical or not. Fabrication of information and lying are permitted to further goals.

Favoritism - a conservative will always pick a conservative crony for important positions regardless of how competent they are or experienced they may be for the position.

Global Warming - a scientific fact that conservatives refuse to believe because it would affect the bottom line of big business and reduce contributions to the conservative cause. They would rather have the planet destroyed than change their view. Conservatives will squash data and revise or edit scientific findings to meet their agendas.

Hearing - most conservatives have hearing problems ... they only hear what they want to hear and filter out the rest. This leads to bad decisions. Bad decisions are typical of conservatives.

Honesty - not in the conservative vocabulary. Conservatives do whatever it takes to achieve their goals and will lie if necessary to achieve them. This characteristic is taught in certain university clubs that conservatives are members of.

Lobbying - an accepted method of approaching a conservative ... conservatives will consider anything a lobbyist brings to them as long as they get a big contribution, dinner, golf trip or something of substantial value in exchange.

Out of Touch - most conservatives are out of touch with reality. They live in a bubble of conservative idealism that doesn't have anything to do with the real world. The tend to create their own reality, force it upon others and expect everyone to accept it.

Right - conservatives believe that they are always right and will never admit to being wrong. If they are proven wrong they will use terms like "we were taken out of context" or "they're playing politics" or change the flavor of their proposals/speechs to be more correct without admitting guilt.

Secrecy - this is a prime philosophy of conservatives. If no one knows what you are doing no one can complain and perhaps they can sneak something past you.

Security - conservatives don't have a clue as to how to protect us from terrorists. They think that starting wars in the middle east will scare the pants off of terrorists - but that only happens in Guantanamo and Abu Ghraib. They allow millions of foreigners to cross our borders unchallenged. They give control of oil companies to foreign governments and now want to give control of our already porous ports to a middle east country that supports terrorists. The leaders of Homeland Security fit the mold of a conservative perfectly - incompetent, arrogant and clueless.

Spelling - yes, spelling. I had to add this one. Humm ... conservatives confuse N's with Q's. This was very evident when we went to war. Let's see IraQ ... IraN ... someone in the War Room transposed letters. Seems like N is more dangerous than Q.

Stem Cell Research - Conservatives refuse to accept the scientific evidence of how it can help humanity and cure diseases. The Religious Right will not allow the Conservatives to expand stem cell research ... citing ridiculous right to life inaccuracies. The rest of the world is proceeding and will soon surpass us to the point of no return.

Stubborn - conservatives are unusually stubborn - refusing to change a position even when proven wrong.

Taxes - conservatives believe that taxes should be paid by the lower and middle classes so that the upper classes can have more money to spend to help the economy. They help the economy by taking trips to exotic foreign places, buy expensive property and mansions overseas, buy elaborate yachts and foreign cars - actually they do very little to help the economy.

Terrorism - all conservatives practice a form of terrorism. If you disagree with a conservative you are punished, considered a traitor, and accused of treason. The more controversial the issue the more the chance of being punished. You are NOT allowed to disagree or provide a contrasting opinion.

Treason - if you don't agree with a Conservative then you are accused of treason.

Working Class - conservatives wish to create two distinct classes - those that have and those that don't. The easiest way to do this is to take as much away from the working class as possible. Send jobs overseas, take away medical care, eliminate pensions and social security, have them invest their hard earned money in companies and stock owned by those that have so they can get more - all in the name of medical insurance and retirement benefits.

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